10 Funniest Writer Quotes

Sometimes being a writer can be all work and no play. Remember Jack Torrance in the Shining?*shudders. With misbehaving clients, book critics and over zealous editors, we have plenty to stress about. So, if you’re having one of those days then take 5 minutes out for a little light refreshment. Here’s my 10 funniest writer quotes.



If Moses were alive today he’d come down from the mountain with the Ten Commandments and spend the next five years trying to get them published.
– Anonymous


If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.
– Doug Larson

Me in the early freelance years: Stranger: Oh, you’re a writer! Have you written anything I may have read? Me: Depends. How well read are you on the top ten tips for hiring a professional carpet cleaning service in Manchester?

– Kelly Dunning



How many writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One to screw it in,
One to sharpen all the pencils in the house,
One to make more coffee,
One to call a friend to chat,
And one to complain that there’s never time to do any writing.
Wait, that’s only five — that’s why they need editors.




It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by that time I was too famous.
– Robert Benchley


I was sorry to hear my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I am not feeling very well myself.
– Mark Twain

Do you have a favourite funny writer quote? Tweet me @Charli_Says and share it with me.

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