If you’re following me on Twitter, you’ll know that I regularly use the hashtags #AmWriting and #WritersLife. That’s because, as a writer,I take solace in the writing community. Why? Because we understand each other. We don’t repeatedly ask one another about when the book will be finished or question why a writer isn’t working 9-5 like everyone else. In this blog, I’m sharing with you my top 5 annoying things people say to writers. I’m tweeting this one out so if you have any I missed then do let me know.
#1 “Write me a viral video script” #howtoannoyawriter
Extra annoyance points if this sentence is accompanied by “also please include all our USPs and risk warnings”. Because yeah for sure that will go viral. If I were left to my own devices I might be able to write you a script that would go viral. But I’m not. Ever. Just be happy if it gets 10 views.
#2 “Can’t you just copy their content?” – #howtoannoyawriter
No I can’t, no I don’t want to and please just stop talking. This comment is doubly annoying as it shows zero understanding of SEO plus a sidestep of your writing abilities. It may also mean your client expects a discount because, you know, you didn’t really write it all did you.
#2 “Ah you’re a writer – you must have read *insert random 18th century novel*” – #howtoannoyawriter
This one wouldn’t be so bad if it were not accompanied by a disappointed look when you answer no. Amazingly I haven’t read every single book in the universe. Even at my reading rate of 1-2 books per week, I’m still a long way off. The assumption that writers must be familiar with all books actually leads some poor writers to lie about the books they’ve read. “Ah yes, War and Peace? I read it many times.”
#3 “Am I in your book?” #howtoannoyawriter
Ah hello stranger who I’ve known for about 20 minutes. Yes of course you’re in my book, would you like any family members in there too? Actually, I don’t include names of friends in any content I write. Because you know, royalties might get expensive!
#4 “I wrote some stuff, too! Can I send my story to you for you to look over and tell me how it is?”#howtoannoyawriter
Friends and family aside, basically no. Or I can do it and charge you for editing…. no? Writers may be at home all day or seem like they are not working but bills have to be paid and writing pays those bills. Happy to give advice but editing your whole book for free isn’t really part of the deal.
#5 “You should write a book about…” #howtoannoyawriter
This is usually followed by the most inane subject ever. “No, it’s ok, I really don’t want to write about that.” ….. “Oh but you really should”…. Please stop before one of us dies. To write a book, a writer needs to be really passionate about it. Writing one because a friend thought it would be nice doesn’t really work. Maybe just write it yourself?
I hope you enjoyed my cheeky look at 5 Annoying Things People Say To Writers. Did I miss one? Tweet me @Charli_Says and let me know.